Sunday, July 14, 2013

Second Time Around

Starting tomorrow my journal entries from this first bit of my pregnancy will begin posting. It'll take a few weeks for them to catch up to where we are now (16 weeks! What!), but I really loved doing it for Lloyd and think it is important for ABC as well. 

It's been a really difficult week around here, so it's been nice to try and think about how far we have come.  I've basically stopped sleeping well. Last week after the due date passed for our baby in the fall I had a hard time mourning the loss of that sweet angel all over again. Then these horrific and vivid nightmares started, keeping me awake and ruining the entire nights sleep.  I might fall asleep ok (might), but once I wake up from these terrible dreams I never sleep well if at all.  I don't know how to make them stop again, I am so exhausted. Which means my emotions have also been incredibly out of whack and I've spent the past several days in intermittent tears. 

On the plus side I feel the baby move almost every day now and I love that feeling. I know soon I will have knees in my ribs constantly, and as painful as it was with Lloyd it will be great to stop worrying as much as I am. I'm so ready to hold this baby, I am not handling this pregnancy very well emotionally. 

Is it December yet? Man I need to get on the nursery! Yikes!
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