Friday, October 7, 2011

Looking Back On Lloyd's Birth

Looking back on our birth story I wonder what I would change. Obviously there are a few things I regret and should have stuck to my guns about (visitors in L&D shouldn't be allowed through hospital policy to make Mommy's feel less awkward about telling family they can't come or to leave).  I think for our next baby I won't allow anyone but Coach in there (unless, by some miracle, my sister can be there but I doubt she'll be able to be).  After reading Joanna's husband's take on the whole birth experience over at Cup of Jo, and also knowing Jon shared some of these "new dad" confessions, I know we would have done much better if it had been quiet all day with just the 3 of us (plus our awesome nurse).  And, hindsight being what it is, I'm sure I would not have stalled out if I'd been given the chance to rest like I tried to do (but was unsuccessful at because of the number of people that showed up unexpectedly and then parked themselves in our L&D room after what was supposed to be a "quick hello"). 

I also know for a fact that Coach would not have a huge regret over not watching Lloyd come out because he was so overwhelmed and tired.  If he'd been able to nap on the couch while I was napping (instead of 800 people being in our room and us both being awake), I think he would have had the foresight to look down while counting and see what he still wishes he hadn't missed.  You never want your husband to tell you in the hours following your son's birth that he wished he had thought to watch his son actually slither into the world.  

Oh yeah, and that whole no bellow the belly looking rule I had? totally broken within 1 second as my sister is making the most amazed expressions at me between pushes.  Which helped me get the strength to push harder to get him out.  Coach saw him crown (I felt it when my OB told me to touch him, and that did not motivate me as his head just felt strange and creepy).  And ironically, no regrets on that front.  :)

So yeah. While publishing my birth story somewhat unedited was hard and took me a long time to do, I'm still glad I did it.  Because it's the truth and it happened and it's how my beautiful son came into the world, for better or worse.  Even if I do have some still-fresh regrets because I didn't stick up for what I wanted and just let everyone else take over my experience.  I really do wish I could go back and kick everyone out when they didn't leave like they said they would (especially the family who showed up completely uninvited), it was too much and they should have known better too since I told them what I wanted before and had really thought about it.  But I guess some people just can't see past their own wants to see someone elses.  Which is hard to say, but true.  I'm just going to have to let it go and get it right for the next time.  

P.S. Joanna even asked the question of "who do you want" to her readers, some of the answers are pretty funny.
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