Monday, October 4, 2010

God Has a Sick Sense of Humor

I didn't set this to publish until after our first appointment, but I wrote it just minutes after finding out we were pregnant.  Luckily everything seems ok!
See that little blue thing? Yeah... that would be a positive pregnancy test.  Insert shocked face.  Then as my heart started racing and my tears began running, I couldn't believe it.  That this would happen now.  So I of course peed on a more expensive one. 
Do I tell you? Do I tell my mom? Do I tell anyone?  Will I lose this little life too, this time because of stress?  Whirling thoughts.  Then it hits me: slow your heart-rate down, breathe.  God wouldn't give me this life without knowing I could do it.  Without knowing He was giving me a reason to see the joy in this awful time right now.  To force me to stay calm, to stay centered, to love my mother for the gifts she gave me and the memories I will give this life.  Peace....
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