Thursday, August 4, 2011

Dear Bitchface

Dear lady at Costco shoving a bottle of formula into your daughters face--

Yes my son is screaming. It is hot outside and he can't cool off like adults can. No I'm not going to shove a bottle in his mouth just so he will stop crying; he isn't hungry anyway and will calm down. He knows I love him; I am holding him and kissing his cheeks, he is just sweaty and hot. I am a good mother. 

Oh and yes I can hear you talking to your husband. I also can see you staring at me. 

I am exclusively breastfeeding my son. He does not like bottles, he doesn't eat well when I pump the milk to give him via a bottle. I will give him my breast when he is hungry. I do not let him cry unnecessarily. I will not give him formula because it is more convenient to you or anyone else. If he cries, I will soothe him. If he is hungry, I feed him. If he is wet or dirty, I will change him. If he is hot because it is 800 degrees outside, I will hold him and cool him down to the best of my ability. We have even put an additional oscillating fan in the car to blow right on him because he gets so hot. 

You want me to start judging you as you've just judged me? Ok! Maybe if you'd given breastfeeding more than a weeks "try" your daughter wouldn't be so small or so obviously fussy with the bottle. Or need to be burped so much. Or have the acid reflux I can tell she has by the amount she burps up and how discomforted she is by the amount of burping you're having to do. Also, your stomach wouldn't look like you're still 6 months pregnant while you bottle feed a 3 month old--whereas mine is flat at 7 weeks and already becoming defined again. Maybe you could spend the $3-5,000 you'll spend on formula and disposable diapers on her college fund--if she even goes to college because breastfeeding is proven to make babies smarter. And healthier. 

But hey, I wouldn't say that loud enough for you to hear since I don't know a damn thing about you or your baby. Just a thought. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going home to feed my son (because he'll be hungry by then), change his cloth diaper, cool him off, and play some motor and brain development games on the mat. See ya you fat, ugly, judgmental, idiot bitch. 

Colleen 

P.S. I'm still dealing with postpartum hormones. I delivered a 9 pound 2 ounce boy vaginally with a wearing off epidural. I will end you, should you ever have the guts to call me a bad mom to my face.
Post a Comment