Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Mommy Diary: Week 11

Developments This Week:
  • Lot of wakeful time in the afternoons playing with our arms and legs.
  • He coo's and "talks" during your conversations with him. You pause, he talks. You talk, he pauses.  It's adorable.
  • Fingers are getting really good at reaching and trying to grasp things.
  • Smiles when you smile and when you enter a room.
Things we have learned
  • Babies sleep a lot after their shots.
  • Sir crankypants is not growing out of his carseat hatred and it's starting to get brutal to take him anywhere.  We've even discussed trying a different carseat.
  • Trust your doctor, that's what insurance is for and why you pay those pricey premiums.  
So despite my instance last week at our pediatrician appointment, Lloyd continued to barf up his little tummy last week. So Monday I called to do exactly what she said: call if you change your mind.  You see, some babies have a defect in their stomach that causes them to vomit forceefully (aka projectile vomit).  It's known as Pyloric Stenosis and is present in about 3/1,000 babies.  Lloyd has a bit of reflux we thought and I just wrote off his massive vomit episodes as bad reflux combo'd with overeating.  Only it seemed that the reflux was getting worse and he was continuing to vomit (no warning, no reason why) despite our following the pediatrician's recommendations.  She offered to send us to the hospital to have an ultrasound of his tummy done to check to see if he has this defect.  It requires surgery and a hospital stay if he does have it.  I honestly didn't think he had it, so many babies have reflux that I just wrote it off.  But he continued to vomit and it was worrying Coach, so I called back monday and told them we reconsidered. So we have an appointment on Tuesday for the ultrasound at Cooks Medical Center.  It's mixed feelings: I don't want him to have it because it's surgery, but if he does have it it explains the vomiting and his crazy reflux would go away. I'm just trying to be zen.

We go to Los Angeles tomorrow! Exciting!  And boy oh boy, do baby's require a lot of stuff!  Our trip to Austin was technically more stuff (pack 'n play, etc.) but this time we're going for longer and further.  Going across the country on a plane is going to be interesting. But I'm excited to take our first family trip/vacation.  Especially since we're going to LA and I haven't been back since I graduated 5 years ago from grad school (cannot believe it was that long ago!).  Yum, food and fun! I'm most nervous (strangely) about getting the carseat on the plane, so once we're on the plane my nervousness will be significantly less. It's funny what makes us nervous, eh?

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Push Present

So I didn't necessarily get a "push present" like some women do (although, seriously? 9 pounds 2 ounces should have deserved some diamonds or SOMETHING!).  Coach did get me a beautiful Willow Tree figurine a few weeks later that sits next to the pregnancy one he gave me after we got pregnant. There are a few things out there that would have been lovely to receive in those quiet hours after we were in post-partum together in the middle of the night.  

But, once again, Cup of Jo posted this beautiful ring that I would still love to have:
Anyone want to email Coach a good birthday gift for his lovely bride? :)

Monday, August 29, 2011

Giving Thanks #4

#4: Because getting us up and going in the morning would not give me enough time to laugh at how he manages to turn 90 degrees in his crib almost every night and wake up smiling.  It would also not allow me to  lay in bed listening to him play and giggle before I go get him up and changed for the day.  Instead we'd be rushing around trying to get out the door for daycare and work and it wouldn't give him the chance to have all these quirky, baby moments we get since our schedule is so flexible.  

Thanks for the giggles little man.  I'm so glad I get to stay with you every day.  

Friday, August 26, 2011

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Mommy Diary: Week 10

Developments this week:

  • batting at his hanging toys
  • starting to uncurl his fingers and grasp his toys
  • smiling when you enter the room
  • recognizes you when you walk past him or speak
Things we've learned this week:
  • We love captain calamari, our awesome development toy that Lloyd picked out by not taking his eyes off it when we waved 800 toys in front of him at the store.
  • developmental games keep us from getting fussy. Thank you The Wonder Weeks (wish I'd bought this earlier! although Baby's First Skills has been good too)
After a debacle with our insurance and the doctors office (they lost, I won), his 2 month doctors appointment was finally today.  He is at the 90th percentile for weight (13 pounds and 14 ounces) and 95th for height (25 inches).  He got all of his shots and immunizations, screamed, but is doing really well. We go back at 4 months for another checkup and more shots.  But he did pretty darn good. He's a little more fussy and is super into Mommy, but nothing a little cuddle time and some tylenol can't fix.  

He also finally met his Uncle Jon today.  He came back from his training up at Ft. Lewis a day early to surprise my sister, so they stopped by.  Boy are mores intimidated by babies.  It's so cute watching them try to figure out how to hold babies.  They're so afraid to break them, it's absolutely endearing and adorable.  Man what cute kiddo's those two are going to have! haha.  yay cousins!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Giving Thanks #2

Because I get to play for an hour on our bed so he can enjoy figuring out his limbs are attached.  And exercise those vocal chords.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Giving Thanks #1

#1: When moments like this occur, I wouldn't be able to truly appreciate the sound of sheer silence in the house.  Much less the luxury of being able to decide what I want to do for the next 30-60 minutes.  The options!

My handsome boys.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Giving Thanks Because I'm Lucky

Yesterday I was laying in bed with Lloyd getting our cuddle on like we do every morning before the day starts, and I just felt unbelievably lucky.  If I were not staying home I would be returning to work tomorrow.  He is only 9 weeks old.  He has new faces every single day, new discoveries, new noises.  I would regret putting him in daycare at every decision.  I am so much more contented knowing that we have sacrificed a more luxurious lifestyle in order to allow me to stay home.  Coach is a teacher, I worked for the government--but it doesn't matter what you or your spouse does that allows you to stay home.  It is always a sacrifice.  No travel, reducing eating out, fewer entertainment purchases, cutting coupons for every item you purchase--it is all a conscious decision we made and make every day so that our son can thrive in his own environment.  We saved and pinched pennies to make this a reality long before he was even here.  

In today's world being a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) is a luxury.  I have a friend who is about to embark on her own SAHM journey and another who will be going back to work with 2 little ones in daycare.  I ache for the latter.  But I know the former has also made a lot of the sacrifices we made to make it happen.  It is just as difficult a decision to look at your finances and decide what can go so that one person can not work and stay home--maybe harder.  For us it was the realization that between daycare costs for an infant, paying almost $250 in gas for my commute (I drove 70 miles round trip), not being able to cloth diaper, and then what the hell do we do on the MANY nights both of us are unexpectedly working late (or I have to go into work at 2 am)--we would have only been bringing in about $500 extra a month.  Maybe.  And that's if we had family helping out A LOT. My friend is a nurse and her husband is in a job that people think makes oodles of money--but his hours are even worse than Coach's and hers are just as bad as mine were.  She gets crazy eyes from people when she says she's staying home but they don't think about the fact that in order to become what he is now she had to work him through school, they've got loans from his education, they've scrimped and saved every dollar for years and now that they're about to be parents it's not any different.  Except now those late hours, on call shifts, and unexpected weekend work sessions would cause them to put their daughter in daycare in excess of probably 60 hours a week during a bad week, and a minimum of 12 hours a day.  So why are people shocked we can figure out how to afford it but they make her feel guilty because of what her husband does? Trust me, regardless of what the working spouse brings home financially--it's a tough call.  

We're lucky.  I get to watch Lloyd grow before my eyes.  I get to make my husband's life infinitely easier for him during his rough weeks.  We get to enjoy quiet hours together instead of cleaning the house, doing laundry, running to the store--because I've been able to do all those things to ensure that the time Coach is home is peaceful and he can enjoy his son as much as possible.  So thank you to my wonderful husband for working those long hours, for coming home and still picking our son up off my lap to make him smile and play.  Because I married the best man there is, I'm giving thanks one small moment at a time.  Starting tomorrow with #1 and we'll see where that takes us.  

Because I'm lucky.  I'm lucky to even have a child when so many I know can't or have lost theirs.  Because every moment is a luxury.  Because life is short and scrimping is temporary.  Because all we need is each other.  

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Mommy Diary: Week 9

Developments This Week:
  • Our first trip (to Austin!).
  • First 8 hour sleeping cycle.
  • First nights sleeping in his crib and out of our bedroom.
Things We Learned This Week:
  • Traveling with a baby who hates the car is brutal.
  • Their schedule is the most messed up upon return to home.  We are back to only sleeping 4-5 hour stretches even though he'd been consistently sleeping at least 6 1/2 hours even in Austin.  So the 5 days of great long sleep were interrupted the night we came home. And it's gotten progressively worse every night since then. He's back in our room hoping that will help but I'm doubtful. I don't know what to do.
  • We have no idea how or if we should just let him cry it out.  He cries all the time in the afternoon from exhaustion (still no naps), and although he is not hungry and won't sleep I do not know whether or not to just let him cry or if something is wrong.  I let him cry for at least 5 minutes but I think he's too young to cry it out, then he is inconsolable and the only way he calms down is by feeding (but he doesn't really eat).  I'm sure this would be better if he took a pacifier but he still doesn't do that either. 
  • Traveling without both parents is an insane decision and I'm glad Coach came with us everywhere, even if he did crash girls night and the baby shower so he could handle Lloyd until he started getting so worked up only mommy and the boobs could calm him down.
I should write a whole blog on our trip. it was great but we do, in fact, have one of the only babies who hates HATES the car. he goes an average of 45 minutes without screaming so much he starts almost aspirating fluid and overheats himself.  On a 3 hour drive we stopped 4 times and it took us 2 hours longer than usual.  Also, my hatred of disposable diapers is confirmed.  What a nuisance having to change him that often and worry about blowouts all weekend! But the shower was wonderful and I miss all my friends down there.  It's so easy and comfortable being around them. I miss that dearly.  We've known each other for so long it's hard to believe sometimes.  

We go to the pediatrician tomorrow for his 2 month checkup.  He gets loads of immunizations and will be super cranky, possibly running a fever.  I'm nervous because I know this will set us back even further on the sleep schedule.  But hopefully we'll have it back to normal by next week.  But then we go to Los Angeles and it'll be messed up again.  He just gets so over tired when he's off his game!  Poor little man.  Plus mommy and daddy get overtired and can only handle so much screaming without wanting to scream/cry ourselves!  The past few days have been hard, I feel like the beginning again--I don't know what to do for him! He's going backwards in his sleep schedule at night. I feel like all I do is hold him all day--am I setting a precedent for him hating naps because he knows I'll just pick him up? Or is he really that awake and it's not just wanting to be held? It's such a fine line and I have no idea what I'm doing!  Ugh! Motherhood! It is sooooo hard!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Mommy Diary: 2 Months Old

In light of the realization that I have almost zero photos of myself and Lloyd I've decided to keep the weekly photos as is but take the monthly photos as both of us. It is extremely difficult to get the timer + baby + mommy to all cooperate but after a bunch of jackups I got a decent photo. 
In the past month Lloyd has started:

  • Talking in coo's and baby gaggles
  • Sleeping 7-8 hours a night
  • Smiling
  • Staying awake almost all afternoon
  • Figuring out his limbs are attached and his movements are getting more fluid every day.

He has gotten so big! We go for our 2 month doctors appointment on Thursday and he gets a ton of shots. This is going to suck. But I'm excited to see how much he's grown since we were there at 2 weeks. My big boy!

He also survived his first trip to Austin, although the drive took us 2 extra hours due to multiple elongated stops due to screaming for no reason, gas, and hunger. so quite the adventure but very much worth it to celebrate a friends baby and see all my good friends. Coach and I both miss living in Austin and while we wish we could end up there somehow, I know we will continue to keep our family in the DFW area. But maybe we'll just have to get better at visiting. Maybe once Lloyd tolerates the car better!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Another Boob Post

Joanna over at Cup of Jo posted another great breastfeeding commentary. I agree with her 100%. I love breastfeeding!  It is so special and Lloyd LOVES it.  He smiles during feedings. He goes into boob juice comas and smiles in his sleep.  I mean seriously, why would you want to miss that? I love that my body provides exactly the nutrition he needs and changes as his needs change--how cool is that!

We're all about the boobies here! Yay!

Man this blog is all about babies....

Mommy Diary: Week 8

Developments this week:
  • Lots of talking every day.
  • Plays in the bath every night; lots of kicking, splashing, and talking.
  • We hold our head up almost entirely by ourself.
  • We slept for 8 hours straight!
Things we learned this week:
  • He knows when daddy should be giving him a bath and it's just me.
  • There is now one cry that is just needy--he will get over it after about 5 minutes. If he doesn't, he has worked himself into an appetite. I still hate hearing him cry, but I'm learning it's sometimes ok.
He slept from 10 P.M. To 5:45 A.M.! I woke up, swung my legs out of bed, looked at the clock, looked over at Lloyd in the pack-n-play just talking away and smacking his lips, and smiled. The bliss! The wonder! The sleep!! 

Coach is back at work. He is home for a few hours between lunch and evening practice. But he misses nekkid baby time--which no one is happy about. Lloyd cries near the end when normally he's smiling and playing with Coach. Mommy is not as fun me thinks. Poor lil bear. But bath time is hilarious, lloyd kicks and splashes all over the place in the tub. He absolutely loves it.

We also have maybe the only baby who loves getting his diaper changed. He'll even stop crying and start kicking and talking once you start to change him. It's adorable! He is so aware all day!I 

I also got a milk blister / blocked milk duct Monday night. Wow painful until I applied warm compresses and scraped away the top so the blocked milk could get out. It was intense stabbing pain when Lloyd nursed. Which is weird because I'd had zero problems with breastfeeding than initial dryness, which was solved by being meticulous about putting lanolin on at least once a day. I googled it and read about the warm, moist compresses and luckily that solved the pain and blockage. Plus I had my OB/GYN look at it today at my last OB appointment. I was right. If it happens again or I start running a fever she said to call, but otherwise it looked fine and I did everything right. just to not let my boobs get overfull. So I've been better about pumping if he doesn't drain that boob--which has relieved the stabbing pain too. You live, you nurse, you learn.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Dear Bitchface

Dear lady at Costco shoving a bottle of formula into your daughters face--

Yes my son is screaming. It is hot outside and he can't cool off like adults can. No I'm not going to shove a bottle in his mouth just so he will stop crying; he isn't hungry anyway and will calm down. He knows I love him; I am holding him and kissing his cheeks, he is just sweaty and hot. I am a good mother. 

Oh and yes I can hear you talking to your husband. I also can see you staring at me. 

I am exclusively breastfeeding my son. He does not like bottles, he doesn't eat well when I pump the milk to give him via a bottle. I will give him my breast when he is hungry. I do not let him cry unnecessarily. I will not give him formula because it is more convenient to you or anyone else. If he cries, I will soothe him. If he is hungry, I feed him. If he is wet or dirty, I will change him. If he is hot because it is 800 degrees outside, I will hold him and cool him down to the best of my ability. We have even put an additional oscillating fan in the car to blow right on him because he gets so hot. 

You want me to start judging you as you've just judged me? Ok! Maybe if you'd given breastfeeding more than a weeks "try" your daughter wouldn't be so small or so obviously fussy with the bottle. Or need to be burped so much. Or have the acid reflux I can tell she has by the amount she burps up and how discomforted she is by the amount of burping you're having to do. Also, your stomach wouldn't look like you're still 6 months pregnant while you bottle feed a 3 month old--whereas mine is flat at 7 weeks and already becoming defined again. Maybe you could spend the $3-5,000 you'll spend on formula and disposable diapers on her college fund--if she even goes to college because breastfeeding is proven to make babies smarter. And healthier. 

But hey, I wouldn't say that loud enough for you to hear since I don't know a damn thing about you or your baby. Just a thought. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going home to feed my son (because he'll be hungry by then), change his cloth diaper, cool him off, and play some motor and brain development games on the mat. See ya you fat, ugly, judgmental, idiot bitch. 


P.S. I'm still dealing with postpartum hormones. I delivered a 9 pound 2 ounce boy vaginally with a wearing off epidural. I will end you, should you ever have the guts to call me a bad mom to my face.

Mommy Diary: Week 7


  • We dropped our 2:30 am feeding once.  But have never done it again.
  • He is up the entire afternoon now.  By bath time he is overtired and super fussy, but he will not lay down all afternoon no mater what we try.  It makes for a long afternoon without Coach home.
Things we have learned this week:
  • the Charlies soap detergent we bought for the cloth diapers was giving him a rash.  So we switched to Rockin Green and it's already gone.  We have been cloth diapering exclusively for a whole month now! It is way easier than I thought and I actually feel kind of badass for doing it. Also, Lloyd likes it and it's saving us tons of money!
  • Thank gosh we got the breastpump.  For instance, both times I woke up last night to feed Lloyd (3:00 and 5:30) one side was leaking.  I fed him, hoped that'd be ok.  Woke up at 7:30 and my shirt was soaked on the right side. SOAKED.  I fed him again only on that side, still leaking and now the other side was getting full and starting to leak.  Fed him at 9:30 on both.  then went and pumped off more than 3 ounces in less than 5 minutes off one side.  Talk about a good producer.  Felt so much better. I shouldn't have waited that long to pump it off but sometimes he feeds tons in the morning, today wasn't one of those days.  
  • Putting Lloyd in the swing in the bathroom so I can shower iworking really well. He gets fussy right when I'm finishing my hair and makeup (aka putting gel in my hair and slapping a coat or two of mascara on and some powder--aka mommy makeup).  Travel swing = genius.  I move it all over the house now.  He sat in it so I could finish some sewing for a friend, shower time, etc. woohoo.
We bought our plane tickets to go to Los Angeles for Labor Day weekend.  I'm excited.  I'll probably be more nervous once it gets closer, but mostly excited.  We just have to book a hotel now.  We're flying together (even Coach is coming!) with my sister and brother-in-law, so it'll work really well I think.  I took my first plane trip at around the age Lloyd will be so I'm hoping for smooth sailing.  Still more nervous for our 3 hour drive to Austin in a week and a half.  Sadly.  

I'm really excited to show Coach around L.A., show him the medical school where I spent my graduate degree years cramming with the geeks, eating at Cantors, walking around Pasadena (thankfully where the wedding is, my favorite part of town), Trader Joe's, etc etc.  It'll be nice. Plus I'm so excited for our friends to get married--it's my first wedding for any of my gay friends and I am so excited to participate in their ability to FINALLY be legally married. It feels so special! 

I have quite a few people interested in hiring me for contract grant writing and honestly I can't imagine how i'm going to squeeze it all in but it is really cool to think that I will still be able to contribute financially even though I'm staying at home with my baby boy.  Also, this week was my final "official" day of work with the City.  Boy did it feel good to turn in my keys and pack my office. I am super sad to leave all my friends but the overwhelming relief of not having to deal with the bullshit of certain people there who happen to be very high up in the organization, is a huge weight off my shoulders.  That place is imploding with poor management. So it's official: I'm a stay at home mommy! Just in time for Coach to start spending a ridiculous amount of time at school with football. sad face.