Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I Waddle and Wince

Like a penguin.  Or maybe that's insulting penguins everywhere.  Either way, the baby has officially dropped and my stomach is now even lower, it feels like my hips could explode, I'm not hungry, and his butt is no longer under my ribs (bonus on that one).  I cannot prevent the waddle as my hips are now under so much strain and pressure I can barely walk up an incline or stairs, period.  It feels like his head is dangling in my vagina. Nice huh?  Or that he'll stick his little hand out and wave at me:  "Hi Mom!"
In other news, I'm eating everything with lots of spice to try and convince him to vacate.  His every movement feels like my uterus is being ripped apart. He feels massive. 2 more weeks? 2 more weeks? I'll repeat, 2 more weeks of this?  They put on a half a pound a week, so that is a minimum of a pound heavier than however chunky his little booty is now.  But if the power behind his kicks is any indication, this little guy has long legs full of chunk and muscle already. Just like his parents. Go baby boy!
Seriously, Go. Down. As in out. As in, I will gladly suffer sleep deprivation and sore boobies if you'll just come out!
Every time I pee I wonder if it's my water breaking.  Silly, I know.  I wake up in the middle of the night wondering if it's going to break.  Every time he moves even further down on my pelvis I wonder "how is that thin sack of amniotic fluid NOT bursting?  my hips feel like they'll burst and they're not a thin membrane."  As in right now. He's pushing so hard I feel like I need to go sit on the toilet just in case.  As if I don't already spend enough time in the potty.
This last month of pregnancy sucks.  You're huge. People tell you you're huge (in addition to even your maternity clothes barely covering your massive orb--it's no longer a baby bump).  It seems like any friends you have who are pregnant are either 1. still in the cute, tiny, adorable phase of pregnancy (no hatred, just a fact) or 2. have just had their baby and you're still waiting to have yours.  Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

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