Monday, March 21, 2011

Overwhelmed

This weekend I took a drive down to my home town for a wonderful baby shower for the little boy.  I drove down Saturday for the shower and got there early enough to get to chat with both Kristy and Bethany as they made an incredible array of food.  It was so overwhelming.  There were sandwiches, mini cupcakes (!), scones, bruchetta, and some wonderful teas.  It was so beautiful and fancy, I just could not believe how much trouble they went through.  It was beyond my imagination, and definitely beyond what I ever deserve. 

I've been friends with these 8 women for 10 years now and I am constantly reminded of how generous and amazing they are.  They have always been there for me and despite us all scattering to the Texas breeze, we manage to get together about twice a year and have a wonderful time.  They remind me of what it felt like to have a home through all those teenage years. There is so much history. 

I drove by our old Austin house, where we lived from 8th grade up until my mother moved 5 years ago to Houston.  It was hard to look at it and not remember my mother as she was then, so happy and loving.  She changed the last few years and it's hard to remember how she was during our childhood.  But just looking at that house and its memories, it was bittersweet for the days when she was not only alive but the kind of mom everyone wants to have.  The girls remind me of that life, how good it was.  It was so simple, how much we took it for granted then. 

And somewhere on my extremely delayed drive home (3 hours turned into over 6), it occurred to me that these women are the only friends I have who knew my mother.  Our friends in Fort Worth never knew my mom, some barely even met her (if that).  I've spent almost my whole life with no one knowing my Dad, but from now on--no one will have known my Mother either.  Even Coach, he only knows my mom the way she was after she joined the priesthood and mostly even after the cancer.  Which is significantly different than she was before.  My Austin ladies know.  They really know what I'm missing in my mother.  It was an interesting revelation to have.  And although I never thought they could ever mean more than they did to me before, after this weekend I know that they will all hold and even higher place in my heart than they will ever know.

I am overwhelmed and grateful that they exist in my life.  That they listen.  That their laughter will always lift my spirits and their arms will catch me when it falls. 
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