Thursday, March 31, 2011

Baby Diary: Week 29

I'm a day late, but yesterday was....not perfect.  Hard to believe we're at 30 weeks, three quarters of the way there, 10 weeks left.  I have definitely started having braxton hicks, mostly in the evening. My stomach turns rock hard and he gets seriously pissed off and starts going nuts in there until it's over.  The past 3 nights I've had false labor contractions wake me up in the middle of the night.  Usually only 2-4 contractions then I fall back asleep, eventually.  They, unlike the braxton hicks, are mildly uncomfortable (obviously, since they wake me up) and last longer. 

Yesterday my blood pressure was high and I felt woozy, dizzy, shaky, and totally sick but my doctor (actually her nurse) said it's probably just stress and to lay down for at least an hour on my left side.  Which I did.  It took about 4 hours for it to go back down to normal, so I went home to relax and try to lay down for the rest of the day.  My blood pressure has been high on and off the last 2 weeks, so I have to bring it up at my dr's appointment on the 13th.  I've had low blood pressure my whole life and so this is kind of scary.  Even though they weren't at all concerned, I am.  I have a horrible feeling (probably irrational) that this baby will come early.  Too early.  My therapist thinks it's because I'm too stressed at work. She wants me to start journaling every day until I start to feel less angry/mad/frustrated/overwhelmed with the things happening at work.  I cannot talk about any of it here because of what I do and the nature of my business and the issues, which I think is unfortunate.  Yet another reason I'm sure it's building up inside me.  Especially since I know I have only a few more months here. 

We've officially decided I will not be returning to my job after the baby's born.  At least until football season is over in late November. We've saved enough money to make that possible and it is such a relief knowing I'll be home with him until he's at least 6 months old, maybe longer.  Knowing I have a deadline is (my therapist thinks) why all of these ridiculous things that happen at work seem to be affecting me more now than they ever did before.  I've been putting up with this crap for 3 years now. I hate my job.  I'm bored with what I do, it's not challenging.  If I'm going to put our son in daycare 8 hours a day I want it to be worth it, not just for extra money. It's not just us any more.  It's not just me. Which is what I have to keep reminding myself when I get worked up, it's not just me anymore--everything I do now effects this little life.  I have got to just let stuff go.

Furniture gets delivered on the 8th (yes!) so I have to get that room cleaned up enough that they can deliver it and set it up.  Not too much, but enough.  I'm definitely nesting.  I cleaned all his bottles, cups, spoons, eating stuff last night and moved things around in our cabinets to make room for it all.  I also unwrapped his bath toys and stuff (holy moly that plastic they wrap them in STINKS, so glad they'll air out for a while) and found a shelf for them all to live on permanently in that bathroom.  Luckily for us, our house has tons of storage space.  Felt good to start finding places for all his things.  Like a little child will be running around in no time. :) Happy thoughts!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Delivery Scheduled!

No not the bambino, but guess what just got scheduled for delivery Saturday, April 8th?
Catalina Extra-Wide Dresser
AND!
Catalina Fixed Gate 3-in-1 Crib
YES!!!!  Which gives me about a week and a half to have Coach's parents pick up the full bed.  Then I need to rent a steam cleaner for the carpet in there, finish putting the remaining DVDs into rubbermaid's, and move around a few things to make room for the furniture!

I am so relieved to know the date it will be here!  We will finally have his room at least close to done!! I need to decide on photo arrangements, but oh my gosh! sweet relief on the big purchases!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Hello Stranger!

Coach's soccer team lost in the first round of playoffs and so he is now home at 3-3:30 every day, rested, and feeling like a normal person.  School is winding down.  After a full day of he and his dad wiring and finishing the install of insulation/sheetrock, electrical outlets, and an additional breaker box in the garage on Saturday--we took a fun day Sunday.  We exchanged some DVDs for a new Wii game he'd been wanting for ages:
Wii Family Game Night 1 and 2
We enjoyed some Yatzee and Battleship until way past our bedtimes.  It was so much fun.  we haven't played our Wii in ages so it was nice to see it on our huge 60".  We are currently tied in both games with a scheduled rematch tonight.  Bring it ON!  :) 

I did gardening on Saturday (which if you know my hate/hate relationship with all of nature, was not something I was looking forward to), put down 4 bags of topsoil, 2 bags of planting soil, and 2 huge bags of mulch after planting 2 flats of hearty, indestructible herbs to fill up our empty flower beds in the front.  It looks so much better. I guess nesting even applies to front yards as I'm waiting for the furniture to arrive in the next few weeks.  I had to wear latex gloves to prevent my skin from coming in contact with all the weeds I was pulling (not joke, if I'd touched them for any amount of time I would have been covered in hives and running gasping for my inhaler into the house to scrub my whole body down in the shower), but it went ok thanks to my good friend benadryl.  Winning.  :)

Yay for productivity!! Woop Woop! AND the guy finally came last thursday to measure for our built-ins, we should be getting the drawings in the next few days!  So excited! 

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Baby Diary: Week 28

This week has been great.  The baby shower in Austin, feeling pretty good, sleeping like a rock, he's getting bigger and his movements are HUGE now, and ordering his furniture--it's great!  The crib should be shipped any day and the dresser will arrive later by delivery.  I decided just to purchase the double dresser for now and forgo the smaller dresser until we get the big things in there and see how it looks.  I am playing with the frame arrangement on the wall above the dresser for now--trying to figure out which ones to put where, much like they did over at YHL.  I think I need to keep my eyes out for some non-frame cute items for the wall.  I'll have to start going back to my standbys of Ross and Hobby Lobby to randomly check the merchandise for items to contribute. :)

We start Lamaze this week, it's every Thursday night for 5 weeks. We get all kinds of birth and hospital information, in addition to a tour of the hospital and delivery/post-partum areas.  We have our breastfeeding class in April.  We're getting close enough that everything is feeling real--both emotionally and physically.

He is getting so big that every time he moves you can see my stomach move, not just when he flip flops or has a big movement.  My stomach is in a constant state of flux.  I rest my hands on the top of my stomach because it breaks up the area between my huge boobs and my tummy that gets uncomfortable now (I think because my ribs and boobs get all up in each other's business if I don't), but he will headbutt my hands if he thinks I'm getting too comfy.  My whole hand will pop up.  It's so cool and weird.  Silly baby.

The ligaments under my belly get really really tight and hurt a lot when he's laying hammock style in that area.  I have to lay down until he moves because it hurts so bad.  The doctor said this is normal for the muscles as he continues to get bigger and bigger.  I'm already looking forward to the next doctors visit, which isn't until April 13th!  They start to get interesting now! Yay! Hard to believe that if I go into labor any time after May 12th they just let me deliver--that seems so close now, especially since next week is April! What!  but still far away... which is reassuring because I feel like we have nothing done. 

So excited.  He's excited too because he keeps hitting my elbow as I'm typing and jacking my hands up. haha.  big boy!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Congratulations to my Beautiful Friend!

You may or may not remember various references to my "Austin Girls" throughout the past.  Trips to Austin for weekend girls nights, etc.  Well these ladies and I have been friends since high school, some of them have been friends since long before that, I met them all during my Choir years and we got really close during our intensive hours in Show Choir.  We've managed, for the most part, to stay friends all this time.  

One of these ladies has been a great source of strength for me through this whole pregnancy, especially in the beginning.  We're in similar places in our lives and she is in the medical field, so we have talked about lots of the .... more TMI aspects of pregnancy and trying to get pregnant until we're both blue in the face.  

Where am I going with this? She's pregnant!! YAYYYY!!!! She's going to be a great mom and I am beyond excited for her and that I can spread the news for beautiful Bethany and her lovely husband David!
Bethany and I, way back in 2007
OOOOHHH so excited for another baby even if they live in San Antonio! YIPPIE!

Monday, March 21, 2011

Overwhelmed

This weekend I took a drive down to my home town for a wonderful baby shower for the little boy.  I drove down Saturday for the shower and got there early enough to get to chat with both Kristy and Bethany as they made an incredible array of food.  It was so overwhelming.  There were sandwiches, mini cupcakes (!), scones, bruchetta, and some wonderful teas.  It was so beautiful and fancy, I just could not believe how much trouble they went through.  It was beyond my imagination, and definitely beyond what I ever deserve. 

I've been friends with these 8 women for 10 years now and I am constantly reminded of how generous and amazing they are.  They have always been there for me and despite us all scattering to the Texas breeze, we manage to get together about twice a year and have a wonderful time.  They remind me of what it felt like to have a home through all those teenage years. There is so much history. 

I drove by our old Austin house, where we lived from 8th grade up until my mother moved 5 years ago to Houston.  It was hard to look at it and not remember my mother as she was then, so happy and loving.  She changed the last few years and it's hard to remember how she was during our childhood.  But just looking at that house and its memories, it was bittersweet for the days when she was not only alive but the kind of mom everyone wants to have.  The girls remind me of that life, how good it was.  It was so simple, how much we took it for granted then. 

And somewhere on my extremely delayed drive home (3 hours turned into over 6), it occurred to me that these women are the only friends I have who knew my mother.  Our friends in Fort Worth never knew my mom, some barely even met her (if that).  I've spent almost my whole life with no one knowing my Dad, but from now on--no one will have known my Mother either.  Even Coach, he only knows my mom the way she was after she joined the priesthood and mostly even after the cancer.  Which is significantly different than she was before.  My Austin ladies know.  They really know what I'm missing in my mother.  It was an interesting revelation to have.  And although I never thought they could ever mean more than they did to me before, after this weekend I know that they will all hold and even higher place in my heart than they will ever know.

I am overwhelmed and grateful that they exist in my life.  That they listen.  That their laughter will always lift my spirits and their arms will catch me when it falls. 

Friday, March 18, 2011

How Much Do You Love

...this amazing little quilted piece for a baby's nursery?  I mean seriously

Baby Bird Stitchery by LellaBoutique on Etsy

wow.  I feel inspired again.  My sewing machine has felt neglected for about a month now... maybe I need to try some cuteness?

hm.....

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Neither Confirm nor Deny

I can neither confirm nor deny that I used my 30% off Old Navy, Gap, and Banana Republic coupon today to purchase some things.  Mostly for after the baby finally arrives this summer. I have zero shorts and so I ordered scary large sizes that I know will fit.  Also, Gap and Old Navy only carry their "Tall" sizes online, so it worked out perfectly.  I hate shorts that are too short and the inseams are riding up your junk, so I know these Tall sizes take care of that.  So here is what I may or may not have purchased:

Crossover Short Sleeve Nursing Top (Gap, $12.99)
Crossover Nursing Cami (Gap, $12.99)
    Womens Distressed Denim Shorts, Tall Size (Old Navy, $24.50)
Women's Perfect Khaki Shorts, Tall Size (Old Navy, $22.50)
Women's Perfect V-Neck Tee, Tall Size (Old Navy, $4.99)
I know it's retarded to buy non-maternity clothes now, but I need them and know they'll fit after the baby is born.  And 30% off cannot be beat. :) Especially since 5% of my order went to the Leukemia and Lymphoma society, yeah buddy. Shopping for a good cause!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Baby Diary: Week 27


Hard to believe we've not only made it through the second trimester but two-thirds of this whole pregnancy.  12 weeks left! wow!  As of our big appointment monday he is 2.5lbs and 15 inches, about the 50th percentile--exactly on target to keep our June 9th due date.  3 months.  I'm starting to get what I'm sure is the beginning of nesting.  It is driving me nuts not to be able to start getting his bedroom together.  Here's the short list of what we have to do for his nursery:
  • Order his furniture & matress
  • Deliver the double bed in the room to Coach's parents house
  • Remove the DVDs from their current location on the floor of the nursery
  • Replace the curtain rod
  • Get blinds put in his room
  • Put the furniture together
  • Arrange the furniture
  • Hang his mobiles (one above the crib, another above the changing pad)
  • Decorate the walls--I have a general idea for one wall but no idea for most of it
  • Clean out and organize his closet
  • Wash all his bedding and hand-me-down clothes and gifts
Crib mattresses are stumping me. I registered for an organic one because I've read about the nasty chemicals they coat regular crib matresses with and how they may be related to various asthma triggers and maybe even SIDS.  They are extremely expensive, but organic ones are the only ones not to use these chemical "treatments".  Or do I just buy the $99 one and put an organic mattress pad on it? UGH! What to do!  I need to decide fairly soon! Ugh. This is my only remaining baby delema. 
Random pregnancy note: When he is low (even lower than usual) I pee every 15 minutes almost because he's basically camped on my bladder.  The next day if he moves I could go hours like a normal person, it's totally a sign of what is to come when he gets REALLY big and drops.  Usually after about 36 weeks. Today I've peed like 12 times, never more than a teaspoon. But I am clenching all day because it feels like you are constantly about to pee on yourself. It's such an annoying feeling.

In case you missed it, here are all 27 weeks of my Baby Diary. :)

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Chins

Maybe I'm crazy (Coach, don't answer that) but I swear this little boy has his Daddy's chin.  Like big time.  I already think his head is shaped just like Coach's, now we've got some cute chin action going on.  Our sono was great yesterday and my placenta has moved (yes!), which means I'm officially off the high risk AND c-section lists.  HAPPY DANCE!

We're taking a Lamaze class starting on the 24th (for 5 weeks). I read Ina May's great natural childbirth book a few weeks ago and loved the general message from it.  If nothing else it really made me feel secure in the fact that my body can do ANYTHING.  I really am more afraid of having some kind of allergic reaction to any drugs in the epidural than I am of any pain caused by birth.  I'm trying to prepare mentally because I know that is more than half the battle. That and staying home as long as humanly possible before being strapped to a hospital bed for delivery.  If my water breaks, yes I'll go but until then or my contractions get close, I'm going to suffer in misery at my own comfortable house.  Or that's the plan.  But we know how good those go.  So I ordered both these books:
I know, bla bla bla I'm crazy.  But I hate preachy weird people and don't want to get annoyed with the process by taking tons of these "earth mother" classes. I like reading and absorbing.  We'll see. 

Also, i already got my glucose screening test results back and we passed with flying colors! Which is great because I really wanted to avoid that 3 hour glucose test.  But my iron levels are low (normal is 11.5-15 and mine were 11.6), so they'll take them again at my next appointment in April.  We wait 4 weeks for our next appointment then start going every 2 weeks, then every week for the last month.  12 weeks! Insanity! I want to hold him! eek!

Experiencing Loss and Moving On

A lot of what we talk about in my therapy appointments seems to revolve around death, loss, and how it effects people (not just me, how my mother's history affected her as a parent and ditto with my dad, etc.).  Something I know I'm going to struggle with is how to handle this loss and fear of losing people, but not restricting my son so much he picks up on my fears. Children are so perceptive.  I do not want him to live in the fear I've had my whole life.  I want him to feel free to do anything without being cautious, or overly cautious.  It's something I have to be overly conscious of. 

I'm also terrified of losing Coach just like my mother lost my father.  There are nights when he was sick last week that I would wake up and make sure he was breathing. How sick is that?  Will I be able to resist that fear once our son is here? Will I run into his room randomly to make sure he's breathing?  It's part of the reason why I registered for the monitor I did, I hope it will give me peace of mind.  I've been afraid this whole pregnancy that something will happen and this baby too will be taken away.  Fear.  Ugh. I'm so sick of it.

A girl I went to high school with whose blog is full of wonderful photos, crafts, and thoughts just wrote about having the same kind of miscarriage I had back in June.  She lost a baby at 20 weeks last year as well. She and her husband have a beautiful little boy, but I cannot imagine how much she will continue to double check everything she does in future pregnancies.  I know my loss effected me greatly.  It still does.

With all that being said, and now you are hopefully not totally depressed because I assure you I am not sitting in the corner of my closet chewing my hair either, how do you move on?  How do you not carry all these scars with you?  I think you do.  It's just your choice on if you make them effect your decisions.  Coach and I have probably more estate planning, life insurance, and written documents for "in the event of our death" because I've seen what not having those things does.  I am in therapy to help it not cause problems for me mentally (what? hovering over your husband all night watching him breathe isn't condusive to a good relationship? surely you jest) and make me a better wife and parent.  It's a lot more work than I thought it was.  Hence, the awesome therapist I now employ once a week.

Even if her arms giggle when she gets really animated.  I'll forgive her. :)

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Baby Diary: Week 26

Well well well... what was a pretty boring week ended with a not-terribly-boring sickness.  Coach came home Monday running a fever of 103 (!), and he hadn't run a fever in his entire adult memory so he was quite the pitiful puppy.  I'd spent 3 hours outside with extrication training, where the wind was blowing, and I felt my allergies kick up.  What I didn't anticipate was waking up all night Monday/Tuesday sneezing massive snot rockets out of my face.  Then Tuesday becoming a human sneeze machine despite my best efforts to control it.  I probably scared the crap out of my psychologist as I'm using half her Kleenexes to mop my nose up during our session.  I then went home to work remotely since everyone at work is sick and I figured I was safer at home with my laptop, curled on the couch with the puppies.  Unfortunately, as the day wore on my sinuses kept exploding which made my lungs angry.  At one point I was extremely worried we would be trekking to the ER for a breathing treatment because I could not catch my breath.  Then I let out a HUGE burp and felt better.  Yes, that's right--I burped and my lungs expanded.

This little boy is now so large that he's got everything pushed up on my lungs and I cannot breathe.  We have 13 more weeks.  Holy crap people!  I'm suffocating because my child is so large! I want them to move my due date up so badly!  I am feeling more and more concerned over the size of this little boy once I hit my 3rd trimester next week.  Holy moly. 

I'm kind of bored without any sewing to do.  All his bedroom stuff is done.  We're waiting on tax refund money to buy his bedroom furniture.  The built-ins get ordered tomorrow. I need to paint some walls in our bedroom because we sold our monster TV to make room to put our 42" flat screen on the wall in our bedroom.  Because we will be putting the pack-n-play where the huge mega-TV was when he's really small (not waisting money on a bassinet).  So if I weren't shooting snot rockets I'd be painting.

I'm so ready to curl back up on the couch. I'm so tired. My bones hurt from coughing and I need to burp again, aka I cannot breath.  Pregnancy is magical people.  Magical to whom I'm not sure, but they keep saying it's magical.  I want to call a big B.S. on that one.  The baby is magical, the pregnancy.... not so much!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Quilt

Before we get to the load of photos of the quilt, I want to show you the insanity that is the baby's closet right now. 
What you can barely see on the right hand shelves is our billion DVDs that are currently residing there (and as I mentioned in my previous post, on the floor outside the closet).  What you can see clearly are the receiving blankets (not all for 'lil bear, some of those are for friends that I made a while ago and will send to them eventually), burp cloths, the fitted crib sheets (2) I made, the quilted accent pillow, 2 nursing covers, 2 diaper wipes cases, diaper holder, his nightlight, the 3 wet bags (2 small 1 large), 2 changing pad covers, and all the stuff we've been already given (pacifiers, UT booties, etc.).  Also, that white bag on the floor is my diaper bag, the bin has baby decorations, there's a huge box of formula samples and coupons too, and then all the rest is stuff waiting for furniture so we can decorate.  It is, to put it nicely, a mess!!

So back to what you came for, the Quilt!
This is the darning foot I got last Friday to make the free motion quilting style I checked out here and loved.
Here it is in action on the actual quilted pieces.

This was around the point I ran out of thread and had to stop Sunday.  I was so close to finishing the quilting part!  If only I hadn't had to rip out so much in the beginning when I was figuring out how to get the tension and needle speed to co-mingle without arguing.  Once I figured it out, it went wicked fast. I finished that bit up Monday after I took the blanket up to work to utilize the huge dining table over in the Fire side to trim off the excess, square it out, and get it ready for the binding.  Doing the binding was a cinch with the walking foot. I'm pretty sure it would have been impossible without that attachment as it was going through 3 layers of blanket and 2 layers of quilting binding. Such a breeze!

And here he is in all his glory (Puffy Puppy is also lingering in the background)! by some amazing miracle I found binding that is the EXACT same color as the teal in the fabric.  It went perfectly and looks amazing next to the brown minky too.  I used a light green thread to quilt it, so everything is all tied in with the different colors in the coordinating fabrics.
Another shot with the minky backside showing.  This blanket is so soft and perfect!
I even challenged myself and signed it using the darning foot.  That was a pain in the bottom, but I think it's pretty cool that I thought to do it.  Coach reminded me that I probably should have dated it, but oh well.  I think it is still amazing.

Will I ever do another quilt? Probably not, except for the next baby.  It was a lot of work and I learned a lot.  My machine's regular length arm also made it a bit challenging to quilt the center bits and weird parts of my arms are sore from pushing it around.  But overall, I am so freaking proud of the final (albeit imperfect) product. Plus I love that all his blankets and sheets are all made by me, the personal touch just warms my heart.  That he'll cuddle with this blanket for years.  I can't wait to see how soft and used it gets.  

Just think, in not so many months and years I'll be tucking his little feet in with this blanket at night. Kissing his pudgy, sweet cheeks, and he'll call me Mommy. Omg. PREGNANCY HORMONES! ah! :)

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Baby Diary: Week 25

Well I actually have been pretty good this week. I have been eating super healthy and trying, desperately, to watch and be careful to not gain too much weight before my next appointment.  I had to reschedule that too from the 17th to the 14th because my Dr is taking a spring break with her kiddo's.  Which was fine to me, I am all for going to the doctor earlier in the week! less waiting! :)

I cannot believe that I'm only 2 week away from my 3rd trimester. I keep remembering how it seemed so far away back at 10-11 weeks, like I wouldn't even make it to the 2nd trimester. It really does go by quickly as a whole. But every week feels slow independently.  I'm feeling pretty good these days, although still sleepy. I found a new chiropractor and he worked on my hip problem and I already feel better, I see him again friday to check my hip and my back.  When I wear a tighter t-shirt you can really tell how far forward my back has curved to handle the weight, and no matter how much I try to roll my hips and stand up straight I still look bowed.  The baby is now about 1lb12oz and 14" long! Holy jeeze! Which would explain the belly acrobatics all day and all night. 

Everyone keeps commenting on how low I'm carrying him.  It feels super low to me because he kicks me in the pelvis and in the bladder ALL DAY LONG.  My bladder is able to hold about a teaspoon before I have to pee again these days.  But then I see people who are around the same, further along, or earlier than me and they are carrying totally different.  I have so much room in my long torso I think it's like a resort in there. But at least I am looking definitively pregnant these days. :)

I'm also super warm these days, and I'm a very naturally cold natured person.  Coach now sleeps under the covers, which is against his nature.  I've been keeping it frosty at night because if I get too hot I cannot sleep and wake up drenched in sweat.  Which is gross.

I have also, officially, finished his entire bedding set.  The quilt is DONE!  I'll post photos after I wash it.  Because of the basting spray it's not fluffy yet. But I am super impressed with how it turned out.  the new darning foot and walking foot worked amazing, and I am so glad I invested the $17 and $7 (respectively).  I even found binding that matched the teal color in the fabric PERFECTLY.  It looks amazeballs.  But now I'm just itching to get the nursery furniture because I want to see it all together!!  I also hate that his little room is currently a crap storage location.  Coach has the DVDs all over the floor because he is "sorting" them (read: started trying to find something, they fell off the shelf, and he dumped them on the floor and organized a few but left it unfinished. for 2 weeks. ugh).  the bed is the only furniture left in the room, it has our old flatscreen laying on it until we sell the bedroom monstrosity.  ugh.  I am definitely seeing the early stages of nesting. I want the crib asap! I want to hang pictures, decorate, etc!

The built-ins get measured next week.  Hopefully they won't take that long to arrive. I'm ready.  Mostly, now, because the DVDs on the floor of the baby's room will be shelved AS THEY SHOULD BE.

I hate chaos.  Deep breaths..... no one even goes in there, but still. I hate mess!