Saturday, May 15, 2010

Husband's

I love Coach.  He is a wonderful husband who I have never doubted loves me beyond compare.  We are pretty perfectly matched, as well as two different species can be--don't be mistaken, men and women are not the same.  For instance: has there ever been a man on this earth who can make a bed that does not untuck in 5 seconds? How do they manage to make a bed where the sheets pop-off so freaking quickly. 

One word: they don't tuck anything in!! ugh!!! Fitted sheet is barely on top of the mattress and forget the top sheet. Drives.Me.Nuts.

When I met Coach he was sleeping on a futon (and had been since leaving the house, a grown-ass working adult!), with no sheets to speak of, and a random assortment of the itchiest, most nappy, old-ass, blankets you've ever seen. I slept over maybe twice and was so miserable, cold, uncomfortable, and hovered on the side of that small-ass bed that I vowed to never again until he got a "big boy bed". I then went on 3 back-to-back work trips.  When I returned from D.C. he'd purchased a thermarest king-sized bed, no sheets, same nasty blankets. I promptly went to the store, bought sheets and a comforter.  The days of bitching had just begun.  "this blanket is too hot, I want my blankets back!" bla bla bla fucking bla. Welcome to adulthood bro, big boys sleep with sheets and comforters. 

Coach is STILL FIGHTING THIS TOOTH AND NAIL well over a year later.  He sleeps on top of our bed with a nasty-ass blanket, while I sleep curled up under the covers with our 900ct wedding registry sheets.  It drives me absolutely NUTS.  I've semi given up, except that every time I make the bed I tuck in the sheets extra tight, and put the nastymanblanket in the closet where it belongs.  It reappears after 1 night. 

Seriously dude, resistance is futile! fuck! Love him, and in reality if this is our biggest argument, I think we're pretty good. But it's so ridiculous. Who does this other than my husband? he's a freak. But he's my freak.
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