Wednesday, May 27, 2009

My Blog Sucks

Ok. Things have been busy, but I think it was April and all my travel that got me out of my blogness. Tiffy has gotten me back on the band waggon, except that I have nothing really interesting to talk about. I feel like my body dysmorphic-type issues are not interesting (and they aren't, regardless of how frustrated they make me).

Tiffy's last post was great though, and I think you should read it. Basic theme:

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive. -Gilda Radner

I love my dogs. And they are so happy every time they see you, they comfort me through all my sadness and it's amazing--they know even when I don't that something is wrong. These dogs have gotten me through some awful men and situations. I do not walk them enough, nor pet them enough or appreciate them as much as they appreciate me reaching down and scratching their heads. Makes me wanna be a dog, except Donnie eats his own poopie. Gross.

I finally had my court date with "he-who-shall-not-be-named" and it went shittastic, but I'm so ready to be done with him that I just settled for $800. Which he basically took in exchange for his fucking teddy bear. Yeah, grown ass-pussy boy traded money for a teddy bear. Tool. He brought a lawyer, said 2 words, and stood there like a retard. The mediators were like "you need to take him to family court, hire a lawyer, and you'll totally win" but that's another 6 months and umpteen dollars in lawyers fees and he's such a looser. Seriously what did I ever see in his pansy ass? He's so ugly! Did he always look like an Ethiopian anorexic monkey? Coach is so handsome to me, but everyone else seems to think he's awesome looking too where as no-one ever thought TKOTDs was... maybe I was drugged or something. I blame the nervous breakdown. Whatever, I WIN! I get to marry the man of my dreams. In typical evil fashion I kept playing with my ring, and the lights were all bright so it was sparkly. muahahahaha. anyway it's done. done done done. Still haven't received my 1st check, go figure. If I don't get it by friday I'm calling the judge. bitchass. he just paid for my tile.

So Coach's house will be on the market this week, mine will be on shortly after the 8th when my carpet and tile go in. I am praying they sell this summer. praying. For so many reasons:

  1. Getting down to one mortgage payment, one set of bills, would be awesome because I'm so broke.
  2. I do not want to move during hurricane (me)/football (Coach) season(s)
  3. If they sell this summer, Coach is out of school and can do a big chunk of the packing/moving and it won't be a big deal since he's just futzing around anyway
  4. The sooner they sell the sooner we move into our "forever" home, and I really don't have to move for a long-long-long-long-long-long (et infinitum) time.
  5. I'm so tired of not getting to see him everyday, and having to drive all over Timbuktu to see each other.
  6. I love him but hate his house.

So let's hope it goes well. I gotta keep looking on the houses that pop up on my search, but there's not that much out there. Hopefully that will work in our favor. (right!????). Anyone want to buy a house in Arlington or North Fort Worth/Keller/NRH???? Please???? Because when they sell, it'll free up our money for:

  1. Selling my Mazda
  2. Coach gets a new truck (I get his silverado!!! YES!! I love his truck!)
  3. I get my motorcycle (went and sat on the BMWs last weekend, ooohhhh I want one so bad!)
  4. Patio furniture
  5. paying off ALL OUR DEBT (which really isn't that much compared to other people, but to us it's annoying)

Coach is taking me on some uber surprise date tonight. He's wearing dark jeans and polo. Homeboy wears his old-man jeans and a t-shirt to church to put that in perspective, so I'm kinda wondering what that boy has up his sleeve. so I'll wear a cute summer dress, it's freaking hot enough for it. He's a crazy romantic. He is also not telling me where we're going on our honeymoon!!!! Seriously!! GRRRR!!! I'm to pack a suitcase for cold weather and beach weather and his mom will bring one to the airport and I won't know until we get on the plane! Seriously! So I'll buy cute things for both, and save all my friggin receipts. I'll just have to make 2 piles of clothes and tell her to put one in the suitcase. what a terd, he originally told me Maui. I am so shitty with surprises. Like I know for our first kid I'm going to want the sex to be a surprise, but it's also going to drive me INSANE not knowing. I love planning everything out to a T. poopoohead.

Anyway.... back to writing EOC activation checklists. barf.


Go Army!!

May 21, Army Times — (National) Army working on ‘green’ slugs. Army ammunition officials hope to field a new, environmentally friendly 5.56mm bullet this summer. The Army began working on its lead-free bullet program in the late 1990s to help reduce the tons of environmentally harmful lead being shot into the soil of training ranges across the country. The first attempt featured a tungsten alloy that did not perform well and proved to be almost as harmful to the environment as lead. The new M855A1 lead-free slug will be made of a bismuth alloy that works much better and is designed to work specifically with the M4 carbine. It will provide more "consistent performance" than the current M855 round and perform better against hard targets. It will also use a propellant that reduces muzzle flash. It is not a true "green ammunition" yet because there will still be trace amounts of lead in the primer. The plan is to start issuing the first of 20 million of the M855A1 lead-free slug cartridges in August. Source

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Sorry I've Been Busy

Things have been crazy. check my twitter for more timely updates. It's faster and I can stalk people like on facebook. Sad, I know.


I've been working out, trying to loose weight although I've been eating kinda crappy. With living basically at 2 houses my normal only eats vegi's diet isn't going so well. I don't think I get anything at the grocery store these days except banana's, milk (for protein drinks), yogurt (for breakfast), granola (to go with the yogurt), and random salad mixin's--or to get food for that nights dinner. it's bad. It's been so busy. April was insanity, I was at work for like 2 days and out of town or in training for the rest, and May is finally JUST NOW calming down. the first 2 weeks were mostly catch up and 800 meetings (not to mention Swine Flu, don't get me started on THAT).

BASICALLY I'm finally seeing possible results.
Thank you Velocity. Thank goodness. I've been determined. So abs looking good, if only my THIGHS WOULD GET THINNER! I am still filling out my 8's uncomfortably. I really want to feel confidant in all my wedding photos.

So my goal is to get as close to a 6-pack as humanly possible for our Honeymoon (looks like Maui by the way). We set the date for December, I just have to get on the reception site locations. That kinda sucks. We're registered and we have our website up and running.

My court date is finally here and is tomorrow and I just want it to be OVER. I'm tired of it, I'm getting married to someone who is beyond my wildest imagination. So I just want the money I'm owed and to be done. I hope he doesn't fight me on this. I'm anticipating the worst and it's been riping my insides up all week. So Margarita's afterwards.
I love my dress and can't wait for it to come in, Kris is due in a few short weeks, summer is almost here, my house will be on the market next month and Jonathan's this month, and we'll continue to shop for houses in the middle once those go official. all that work, but it'll be nice to start over with no memories of a previous person, a new marriage, a new house, and hopefully a new motorcycle soon. :) I'm ready to be there. I'm ready to get started living the life that I'm happy I get to have for the rest of my days. To begin getting the things that really matter, starting our own traditions, thinking about when we'll start our own family, that kind of stuff. We're so excited. :)

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Overheard Strikes Again



3PM The Propmasters on Indiana Jones Movies Are Always Kept on Their Toes
Coworker wandering lobby, on cell: Why are you going to be late this time? What do you mean the camel got loose and knocked over the "wheel of death!"

The Red Brick Hell House
Upper Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Lackey
via Overheard in the Office, May 15, 2009

3PM You're a Visionary, Sir
Partner: I guess just like people watch tv electronically, one day they'll figure out how to send mail electronically.

Brooklyn, New York
via Overheard in the Office, May 18, 2009

Introducing, the Most Cerebral Blonde at Manasquan

Snack bar worker: Do you ladies need anything for your iced coffees?
Brunette 40-something: I hate to be a pain, but do you have any skimmed milk?
Snack bar worker (returning): I'm sorry ma'm, we ran out of skimmed milk but I did find some fat-free milk!
Brunette 40-something: Oh, thank you so much. (turns to blonde friend) She was so sweet, I didn't have the heart to tell her it's the same shit.
Blonde 40-something friend: It is?

--Manasquan Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Beach Bum
via Overheard at the Beach, May 7, 2009


At Least He Didn't Call Me "Woman" This Time
Mom, while burying her four-year-old son in the sand: Yo, did you hear what he just said? He said "don't pat too hard or my balls will explode!"

--Rockaway Beach, New York
Overheard by: That's why I'm scared to have kidsvia Overheard at the Beach, May 6, 2009

A Lesson Every Proper Young Lady Must Eventually Learn

Girl #1: You need to learn to give off a "piss off" vibe. Follow my lead.
Girl #2 (to drunk groping her): If you fucking touch me one more time I'll cut off your balls!
Girl #1: Or just do that...

--Bondi Beach, Australia
via Overheard at the Beach, Apr 25, 2009

Friday, May 15, 2009

I Found My Dress

I went dress shopping last weekend (sick I might add) with Bernice (Jon's mom) and Alexis (his cousin), Caitlin joined later. We tried on dresses at 3 stores and they were all crazy and Davids Bridal was horribly busy and insane. I didn't like anything there. I had tried on 2 dresses at Bridal Designs in Southlake that I liked, so after all the dresses at Alfred Angelo and David's Bridal, we went there. I loved them both but each one had something about it that made me unsure.

Then yesterday I just got an urge to go back to Alfred Angelo because they were the nicest and I liked a dress there. So we picked out a few more to try on and the moment I put this one on I knew. It has so much simplicity but it's so different. Plus I love the ribbon. At first I thought I'd get red (claret) to match my colors, but I love how the black looks. I think I'll get Jonathan a red tie that matches whatever color Caitlin ends up in (the red). Then it'll be black and red at the altar. It is in December after all!! So then just at the reception we'll have red and orange accents. I don't want Jonathan in a tux, it's so not him. Well a suit isn't either, but I love the way a really nice suit looks so we'll buy him a really nice black suit, and his best man will have a black suit too. it's just going to be the 4 of us, so it'll look pretty crisp up there.

We also set a date, December 11th (Friday). He told them 7pm, but I think that's too late so I'll probably move it earlier. He keeps trying to work around everyones schedule and that's just not going to work. I just don't give a shit, people can take a freaking half day. Just don't take lunch Monday through Thursday for cripes sake. This is our wedding, we have too many fucking people thus far anyway if we work around everyone we'll never have a wedding. So he kinda got pissy and I told him I don't care, it's too late considering we're having MASS FOR CRIPES SAKE!!! Then pictures!! you've got to be kidding me! He's got a handful of people coming from Houston. We took a day off for their weddings, they can take one for ours. good gosh. I'm mean I know, but seriously. Its my damn wedding I'm not going to think about anyone else. So dumb.

The meeting with the Deacon to set the day was kind of weird. he's really quiet but nice. We had a personality test thingie that pissed both of us off because there were a good chunk of questions that "agree, disagree, undecided" did not apply to--so who knows what the results will say. we have to meet 3-6 times (depending on how "compatible" we ranked) with an assigned couple (who we haven't received yet) who will help us "work through our ranked incompatibilities/disagreements" on the test. We go away for a whole weekend at the catholic center for an engaged retreat, and hopefully that'll be better. only sucky thing is I have to notify work that I'm completely out of communication for the entire weekend because they don't allow cell phones. The chief is going to give me so much crap. haha. Jonathan is in charge of the priest/church stuff for the wedding (he asked what he could do, and so it's his own fault!! haha) and he called his old priest (now a monseigneur) and he will be doing the ceremony and he's pretty funny. So we'll meet with him sometime soon hopefully to talk about more specifics.

We also got the book of readings to pick from, so we have to come back to the liturgy director and bring the ones we want. The lady who does all that is the deacons wife and she's... nice enough, but she is also the choir director but sings everything herself and while she has a nice voice it's kinda ucky. So I've got to come up with a creative way to have someone else sing anything that would be just her. Maybe incorporate the choir girls in that part. Who knows. I was thinking of having the lord bless you and keep you sung if at all possible. She's nice but while there's like 5 other people who sing at every service, she does all the solo's and all the major singing and it kinda bugs me. Like it's a choir, not you're the only singer here. So we'll see how THAT goes. So the next big thing is finding a reception hall. that's going to be stressful and a pain.



For Caitlin maybe? I duhno... because it's just her we don't have to get them at a bridal store I guess... this one was just kinda cool when I saw it in the store. I'd get the accents in black.


Thursday, May 14, 2009




These Made Me Shoot Snot Out My Nose

3PM The "Enter" Key's Somewhere Near the Middle Of Your Keyboard, Sir
Tech on phone: Please click start, type "cmd" and press enter. (pause) It should have brought up a command prompt. (pause) Nothing yet? Hmmm. Let me remote in. (starts laughing uncontrollably) Sir, you have to type "cmd" and press the enter key. Typing "cmdandpressenter" will not work. Sorry I wasn't more clear.

Dodge St
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: northern lad
via Overheard in the Office, May 7, 2009

1PM Maybe They'll Also Resolve Whether I'm Pregnant or Just Getting Chubby
Slutty coworker #1: Yeah, I was thinking about signing up for the office blood drive.
Slutty coworker #2: Really? That's nice of you! They need a lot of blood right now.
Slutty coworker #1: Yeah, I guess. I heard they test your blood for like STDs and stuff before they use it. I haven't gotten checked in awhile,so I figure, why not?

Memphis, Tennessee

Overheard by: wow thats classy
via Overheard in the Office, May 13, 2009

11AM ...Again.
Assistant: Can I go home sick?
Boss: Why?
Assistant: I ate too much gum.

New York City, New York

Overheard by: OMG
via Overheard in the Office, May 12, 2009

10AM It Was a Brilliant Performance Art Piece
Associate director: So I found myself on the floor, bleeding, and all I could think was, "Really? I just cut myself with spaghetti?"

Commonwealth Ave
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: cube rat
via Overheard in the Office, May 8, 2009

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Holy crap

3PM Have Her Fax Us a Whole Box, Okay?
Boss to secretary: We're out of paper? Hold on, I'll call Julie and have her fax me a sheet and we can photo copy it.

Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Overheard by: can't say ... I'm laughing to hard
via Overheard in the Office, May 1, 2009