Monday, February 9, 2009

Case of the Mondays

I feel super Bloated.

I don't get my period because of my IUC, so it's not that. I just feel HUGE.

My pants don't fit. Like any of them. I'm going to go on a diet, this is retarded. I'm working out, working my ASS off, and nothing. I feel all teary today. I just woke up feeling awful today. I just want to cry. My face looks puffy. 

I really need to cry. How do I always date these guys who spend their lives TRYING to put weight on, and I spend my life trying to keep an apple from making me gain 5 lbs of fat--it's just not fair. and they NEVER get it. They NEVER understand, never get that I can't eat like that--can't eat out--because it makes me gain massive amounts of weight in seconds. And I just do it and get miserable and then they get irritated because I'm so depressed and I crumble on the floor of my closet in TEARS. I love junk food, but cannot eat it. ever. and if I have a taste I cannot stop until I cut it all out for months and don't crave it any more. it's the binge eating of my bulimic past, all over again. I hate my body.

I hate my job. I'm writing interlocals for my new job position that I may get, and I need the raise wicked bad. I'm so broke. I get paid Friday. Until then I have a zero balance. I get a huge check from the IRS in 2 weeks and I'm so desperate for it. I'll have all my CC's paid off.

I still need to file my paperwork at the county. My package was returned by USPS, and so I'm just going to file and have him served at work. Sucks for him.
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