Wednesday, January 28, 2009

When VS Has a Sale, They Have a SALE


Pant, $19.99

Pant, $14.99 Skirt, $12.99
Skirt, $4.99

Camisole, $8.99
Pants in Winter White, $19.99

Beaded Necklace Shirt, $9.99
Slippers (no more cold feetsies!), $2.99
USC Sweats, $18.99






Total purchase price, including tax and shipping=$150

My New Gear

My New High-Visibility Gear.



If you responded: "YIPES that's YELLOW!" that's what I was going for. You saw me. Biggest issue for motorcycle crash avoidance is that car's don't see us!! Step one, high-visibility clothing....











































Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Taxes

This is the first year The Rev didn't file me as a dependant. The first year I've had a full-time permanent job. I purchased a house this year. I have assumed all responsibility for myself. This is the plus side:

I get approximately $10,600 back from the fed's.

Thank you first time home buyer credit. I'm filing this week. Hopefully will get my direct deposit soon. I will pay off all my credit cards. ALL of them! No more debt, no more money stress. And I will still have enough to buy my motorcycle. This is great news. Which means:

  • I won't have to drain my investment account to pay for these bills
  • get rid of my horrible cell phone and get rid of the work blackberry, condense into iPhone
  • Paint on all the walls in the house this spring
  • Going to the USC/Cal game in October, I will get to see Catherine and Jim!!
  • Maybe a vacation this summer (shocker!)
  • Both bathrooms will get tiled this spring
  • Kitchen island will be put in, and tile in the kitchen
  • New floors (remove laminate) in entire house early 2010
  • All payments received from TKOTD will be put towards possible new car in 2010-2011
  • SOOOOO much less stress

*sigh*

NOTE: use turbotax not h&r block's free tax filing thing. The former actually knows what a 1099-MISC is, the other tried to file it as real estate earnings. dumbasses

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Tears are Running Down My Face

Words fail but sometimes they succeed...........

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:

  1. 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
    2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
    3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
    4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
    5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
    6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
    7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
    8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
    9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
    10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
    11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
    12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
    13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
    14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
    15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
    16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
    17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

  1. 1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs.
    2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
    3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
    4 esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
    5. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent.
    6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
    7. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp.
    8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
    9. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
    10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline..
    11. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam.
    12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
    13. Pokemon , n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.
    14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. .
    15. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
    16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

Leave It to Winnie the Pooh to be So Smart

“One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries."

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Christopher Robin to Pooh

“It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily.
"So it is."
"And freezing."
"Is it?"
"Yes," said Eeyore.
"However," he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately.”

"It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"

"If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear."

"Some people care too much, I think it's called love."

I'm always a bit eleven-o'clockish:
"When late morning rolls around and you're feeling a bit out of sorts, don't worry; you're probably just a little eleven o'clockish."

this one is my signature on my blackberry:
"My spelling is wobbly. It's good spelling but it wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places."

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

YUM!!


Don't Buy a Mazda

lets just say my ass hurts.

nice job, ford. way to manufacture cars that have a clutch expectancy of 60,000 miles. how can I get rid of this car, buy another one, and a motorcycle, and not have a car payment..... *sigh*.

I'm never getting out of debt. it's official. back to almost all cards maxed out AGAIN. I'm so exastperated I could cry. oh no wait... I already cried. when the mechanic called and told me how much the clutch et al. would cost, plus the other shit that's broken and needs fixing, and fluids that need replacing would cost. Mazda's suck. never buy american, we can't make shit these days. And I take care of this car, baby it! I should have just run it into the ground, don't think it would have mattered.

hey Mr. President, I'm feeling like a democrat--I need some free money and an extra tax break. I work my ass off and can't afford to pay shit, shouldn't I get some welfare too? How about some free health benefits to boot? If you're just handing out free money to big corporate monopolies, how about me? The lowly government employee. I have needs too.... Day 1 of 1460...clock's tickin' Mr. President.

Approved For Use....

I want to try this gun out. Supposed to be easy to shoot, accurate, minimum recoil, and 20 round mag. hm...


In 1935, the FN-made Browning Hi Power was revolutionary. The market quickly adopted this high-capacity 9mm pistol accordingly, and it has since been fielded by over 100 countries.

FN's newest contribution the handgun's evolution is named the Five-seveN®. This 20-round pistol fires a 5.7mm bullet that will defeat most body armor in military service around the world today. Essentially, the Five-seveN® represents a quantum leap forward in the handgun's suitablity for close engagements by delivering the type of performance that was previously confined to rifles or carbines.

Elements of this performance include:

  • High magazine capacity: The Five-seveN® comes standard with 20-round magazine.
  • High stopping power: The Five-seveN® fires the 5.7x28mm SS190 Ball round which reliably penetrates Kevlar helmets and vests as well as CRISAT protection.
  • High hit probability: The Five-seveN's® extremely low recoil impulse results in virtually no muzzle climb, thereby facilitating fast and controllable follow-up shots.

Yet, the Five-seveN® is:

  • Light and ergonomic: Weighing 30% less than most 9mm pistols, the smoothly-contoured Five-seveN® is comfortable to carry and quick to deploy.
  • Fully safe: Due to its double-action firing mechanism, the Five-seveN® offers no inherent risk of accidental discharge during transportation. Furthermore, all of its safety devices are automatically reengaged following each firing cycle.

The Five-seveN® fires the SS190 5.7x28mm ball round. This projectile will perforate any individual protection on today's battlefield including the PASGT kevlar helmet, 48 layers of kevlar body armor and the CRISAT target (titanium and kevlar). The SS190's conventional design allows it to be manufactured on existing production lines, and its lead-free composition eliminates range contamination.


Five-seveN® Technical Specifications
Caliber:
5.7x28mm
Operating principle: Delayed blowback
Trigger mechanism: Double action only
Magazine capacity: 20 rounds
Overall length: 208mm (8.2 in)
Barrel length: 122.5mm (4.82 in)
Weight, unloaded: 618g (1.36 lb)
Weight, loaded: 744g (1.64 lb)

Thursday, January 15, 2009

This Site is Hilarious.

For example:





Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. The current world record is 5 minutes, 12 seconds.





or






After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Drool...



check out the song on the previous post. you'll love it.

I Love This Cover



The video is not the star here. The SONG is. So cue it up, walk away, and just listen. This cover is by an Austin band called The Lennings, and they are having an EP release in February at Club DeVille.

Got it from That Austin Girl